By attending our wedding, you hereby agree to the following:

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1. Dancing is mandatory. No exceptions. Even if you have two left feet, we expect at least a well-timed head bob.

2. Cake theft will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of our disappointment.

3. Any objections must be submitted in writing, notarized, and then promptly ignored.

4. Crying happy tears is encouraged. Ugly crying will be documented for future blackmail.

5. Gifts are appreciated, but your presence is the real present. 

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Failure to comply with these terms may result in extra hugs from the groom and the bride from the left to the right and an impromptu solo performance on the dance floor. 💃🕺